my inner darkness

i've just recently discovered something about myself, & it kind of scares me.  but in a good way.  or maybe not?

i love lovecraft.

to those who are unaware, this might seem harmless or even fun.  i mean it has the words 'love' & 'craft' (the crafting of love?), so how bad could it be?  to those who do know, they know this is a step towards a dark part of themselves from which they may never return.

lovecraft, as in mr. h.p. lovecraft, was a pioneer in horror fiction.  monsters, aliens, physical metamorphises, interdimensional demon-gods, insanity & all that.  go here to read up on him. 

i'm kind of a fan when it comes to the horror genre.  i like to be scared.  blood & gore don't really cut if for me.  it's gross, but not exactly scary.  i need something a bit more mind-blowing, & lovecraft does just that. 

to start off w/, what exactly defines a person?  who are you?  your likes & dislikes, thoughts, feelings, emotions.  these are things that a person might consider a part of their soul / give a person their humanity.

now what lovecraft does is tap into a part of your reptillian mind, the primordial subconscious, where there is no rt/wrong, no logic/reason, no emotion.  there just IS.  & nothing more.  this is the instinctual part that every1 has buried deep w/in their minds that just wants to survive & possibly procreate.  it is raw & completely soulless; humanity is gone.  in lovecraft's stories, your normal everyday life is a lie you tell yourself to hold on to--erm, yourself.  then 1 day you peek thru a doorway or notice a bit of darkness moving in the corner of your room that you've never noticed before, & you're suddenly thrusted into a vast & undefined universe where you do not matter, & if you tried to understand it/your place in it you lose your damn feeble, unable-to-ever-grasp-the-truth mind.

THAT, my friends, is scary to me.  to lose yourself & know you can't do a damn thing about it.  i've often wondered if crazy ppl knew they were crazy.  but there's something so seductive about insanity, to lose yourself.  walking the tightrope & peeking over the edge to the monsters & darkness & all of the unkown.  it's like being at the crescendo of a rollercoaster ride, rt before it plunges w/ frightening speed.  you have no choice but to hold on & HOPE you come out ok & not shit your pants.  thrilling, ain't it?

cthullu wants to play w/ your children.

my mother always wanted me to draw flowers & pretty things.  harmless things.  acceptable things.  perhaps i should've listened to the harpy & stuck to the light instead of be curious of what was in the dark.

s'more lovecraft-inspired goodies...

behemoth thing from stephen king's "the mist."

dye's music video "fantasy"

 

mignola's ogdru jahad from "hellboy."

 

sleep tight, kiddies.

[insert crazed laugh here]

geek girl lookbook - thundercats, hoooooo!!!

i've been looking @ too many fashion blogs lately. 

i'm no fashionista, but i do have a geek girl uniform.

target has the BEST stuff.

it was a thundercat kind of day.

all those bracelets?  yeah, i made them.  you may be jealous now.

i got everything that i need! boo boo pee pee pee!

this is definitely a magical time for my husband & i.  the boy is coming into his own, developing his own quirky personality (which mirrors our own, surprise surprise).  lately he's gotten into busting out random songs he makes up all on his own.   like he'll play w/ 2 action figures as if they were fighting, but they'll sing opera-esque their fighting moves.

[lex luthor/ryu]: i will do my haduken now!
[batman/ken]: aaarrrgh! & now i will do my sure-you-can!
--[ominous music]:  dun duuun dun dun dun DUUUUNNN!!!

 & sometimes he'll take a familiar song & replace key words.  like this for instance, from "the muppet movie":  

"i got everything that i need! boo boo pee pee pee!"

see what he did there? how golden is that, ya'll?

"the light side or the dark side?  decisions, decisions..."

i <3 this goofy boy so much.

korra eats an apple instead of doing casual 1 armed push ups

i've been meaning to contribute something to the airbender/legend of korra fandom for quite some time now.  the only thing i've ever done was a sketchy of aang as elvis, or aang-vis if you will, that was a compilation of artists from all over who were fans of the show.  but w/ the 1st season of korra already done i was pumped to do something else.  something a little more...badass.

& if you've ever watched "the legend of korra", you know just what i'm talking about.  korra is the embodiment of badass.  she's the avatar, a teen girl, a girl who can do amazing things & is so confident of herself that i want to BE her.  well, ok let's not get carried away here. 

i've wanted to do a korra pinup for some time but couldn't figure out how to pose her.  every other amazing pieces i see show her bending, & yeah i know she's the avatar & it's her thing, but i wanted something a bit different. something that was casual but also showed off her awesome arms & torso.  a pose that let you know she was a badass w/out even trying.  my husband suggested i make her do push ups.  the thing about when i do these vector pinups, i base them off of an actual photo reference.  which means i take a pic of myself doing the pose.  which means if korra was gonna do some casual push ups, then i would be doing push ups too.  um, no thanks.  then some1 else suggested i take it a step further & make her do a casual 1 armed push up.  say wha???  ok now you're just being crazy.

:/

so i picked an easy pose, something mundane but because she's doing it it's not so mundane.  like eating an apple.  & cocking an eyebrow at you because you're creepily watching her eat an apple.

sketched it out.  used ref snagged from nick.com.

outline everything.

shapes, shapes, shapes.



close up of those beautiful blues.

"can't a gal eat an apple?"
& here we are w/ a very casual but still badass pose.