about this whole "cosplay is not consent" thing...

...aka "how to behave in public..."

i am not a cosplayer.  a part of me would LOVE to rock a korra costume, but alas, i don't have the time, funds, or energy to make 1 to wear at cons.  & besides that, when i am at cons, i'm busy doing sketches or selling books (subliminal message***BUY JETTA: TALES OF THE TOSHIGAWA & TURRA: GUN ANGEL & DON'T FORGET TO SUPPORT THE TURRA INDYGOGO CAMPAIGN !!!***  end message).

recently there have been stories of the ugly side of cosplaying, where girls get harassed or put in compromising positions because of the costumes they wear.  stuff like creeping, stalking, gropping, dropping crude remarks or request. 

there are some who say the girls who claim harassment are overly sensitive or blowing things out of proportion, or even worse, are ASKING for it. 

"comments & looks come w/ the territory if you cosplay as a sexy character. if you don't want attention, don't dress up.  like i don’t leave my car or house door unlocked because i could get robbed.”  that’s good thinking ahead.  but even if you did forget to lock up & get robbed, do you get blamed for the robbery?  or do they arrest the person who robbed you?  who did the wrong thing here?  & really, who asks for shit to happen to them?  whether a girl cosplays as a frikkin tauntaun or as vampirella, that’s her business.  & why she's dressed up as whatever, whether she wants attention or loves the character or is paid by a company to model, it is her business also.  how you conduct yourself is yours.  & you do know how to mind your own biz, rt?  if you don’t know this, go home & slap yo mama for me, please & thank you.  because she should’ve taught you better.

others argue that the characters that wear these skimpy outfits do it to fulfill some male fantasy.  these are overly sexual characters in a world of make-believe.  if you are aware of that, then you are also aware that a con is in our reality, & these girls who dress up are not the actual sexy characters you see in the books or on tv, but are people of our reality, just dressed in costume.   & since this is the real world, you should know how to conduct yourself around others in a real world setting, right?  if you don’t know this, go home & kick yo mama so hard in the kidneys for me that she pisses blood for a week, please & thank you.  because, seriously, she should’ve taught you better.

you worry about what YOU do & how YOU behave, not about her because of the costume she chose to wear.

now, if you wanna tell me i should stfu because i've stated "i'm not a cosplayer" in my very 1st sentence of this post, let me show you how all this relates to the world outside cosplaying.

cosplay world:  "comments & looks come w/ the territory if you cosplay as a sexy character. if you don't want attention, don't dress up."
real world:  "if she didn't want it, she wouldn't have worn that short skirt or been out alone at night or gone to that party w/ alcohol."
translation: "she's a girl, & doesn't have actual thoughts or feelings, & it doesn't matter what she wears or doesn't wear or where she is or what situation she's in because i will conjure in my head an excuse to make it ok for me to do or say whatever to her.  & in fact she should be THANKING me that i'm even paying her any attention."

cosplay world: "she's dressed up as a character that is a nympho.  what does she expect?"
real world:  "she's wearing red heels i saw a porn star wear once.  what does she expect?"
translation: "she's a girl, & doesn't have actual thoughts or feelings, & it doesn't matter what she wears or doesn't wear or where she is or what situation she's in because i will conjure in my head an excuse to make it ok for me to do or say whatever to her. & in fact she should be THANKING me that i'm even paying her any attention."

so this is how the world is & we should be ok w/ it?  this is why it's been suggested that women carry mace & guns w/ them to lessen the chance of them being raped.  this is why scientists in india are busy inventing a shock bra to foil attackers & folks in south africa have made a contraption for a woman to put inside herself that would tear up a rapist's penis??

because it's just too damn hard to teach people how to conduct themselves in public & to treat others w/ respect, i guess.

letter to thai

i friend posted the following on her facebook this morning...

"So sick and tired of kids saying something to Thai because she wears superhero shirts to school! Teacher getting a call! She cried about it this morning."

>:( 

this is not acceptable.  this is downright rage-inducing.  messing w/ this girl?  because of SUPERHERO TSHIRTS???  this is like messing w/ my own child.  we go to cons w/ her & her family.  we hang out at kickboxing class.  shoot, we have more pix of her on our fridge than we do of our own son.

i know kids can be stupid & use a strange logic that we grown people just don't get, but this needs to be nipped in the bud.  i remember once upon a time when self esteem wasn't an issue for me.   i mean, every kid coming into the world has unlimited potential to do great things...until they are told by someone else they can't/don't/shouldn't.  i use to be the fastest runner in school & queen of the monkey bars (i had the blisters on my palms to prove it).  then 6th grade hit & i was made fun of because i didn't play quiet games during recess.

& it didn't quit there.  i withdrew further into myself when in 8th grade was told i was suppose to draw flowers instead of dragons.  & then in high school i was 'weird' because i read (for fun, not for homework) at lunch instead of gossip, didn't wear make up, didn't go on dates.  &, oh yeah, i didn't care for new kids on the block.  i know, ole weirdo janet.

it wasn't until i hit my mid-20s before i realized i was tired & unhappy of trying to fit in & hiding the things i liked, all for people who i never saw again & did not matter whatsoever in my life anyways.

a girl doesn't have to wear pink or draw only flowers & unicorns or wear hannah montana shirts or like princesses to be a girl.  

she can dress up as her favorite superhero.

best black canary EVER!

she can be in ballet.

graceful.

she can whoop some tail in kickboxing class.

she's smiling because you think she's cute & can't hit hard.

she can learn to play violin. 

country fiddlin' or classical.

she can have taekwondo family fun time, too.

choke him out!!!

 

oh yeah, & she can read a comic book whilst wearing a SUPERHERO tshirt.


in yo faces, haters.

so here's my words of encouragment to this multifaceted young lady.

dear thai:

i know sometimes it's hard being 10, trying to figure out who you are & where you fit into this world that can be full of people who, at times, are rather stupid & slow to realize that not everyone's a cookie cutter clone. 

you are an individual.  you are ok to like the things you like and enjoy the things you do because those things make you happy.  and too bad if it bothers someone else so much that they feel they need to make fun of you.  those people need to find a hobby, like knitting, if they really don't have anything else going for them.

keep wearing batman tees.  keep playing w/ star wars legos.  keep reading comic books.  one day you'll understand that you are an AWESOME kid.  everyone who love you already know your awesome-osity is boundless.  :)

love <3<3<3,
~~me
 

that's right.  wear that superhero tshirt, miss thai.